can't do it/not today

feel nothing

stuck in chair

staring at something that isn't

hating time

wanting to slip

i can't do

can't move

i can't find

no direction

can't do

can't go

everything

falling apart

nothing ever does

snow

should be happy

bills to pay

minds to make

risks to take

paint to spray

can't do it

not today

random ambition

pick up violin, play

fingers clumsy after all

can't feel, only think

why didn't...............................................

how can it feel this wrong?

Battling again

slept on the couch

pissed

about past

crisp brisk walk

hurt

hate

he doesn't want

says it couldn't be

made our choices

so he says

but

only had

it wasn't

just want

with you

i guess that's too much

can't take it

disconnected

didn't respond

stared

not a fucking word

shut down

slept

later

he loved me

asshole

wish we could

but you can't

no matter

no matter

no matter